My Reasons For Doing This
I Don't Feel Good
January 15, 2010 @ 07:38 am
Oh I'm fine physically. Had a head cold last week but it was short-lived. No, I feel well; I don't feel good. Actually I've been feeling pretty darn bad and that's been the impetus to get my act together and blog / work out / eat right, again. And I know that in time - and probably not a very long time - the endorphins will kick in and I'll start feeling good again. But for this post, I'm going to whine and moan, because it's my blog and I can. Go get your own (and then send me the link).I struggle with loneliness and depression, and I think it's a direct result of life-long unfitness. Thing is, I'm a happy person, generally. I enjoy my life, I enjoy my work, I enjoy my partner. I'm reasonably successful for a 26 year old. I live in one of the greatest cities in the world. And I'm pretty good at intellectually beating back my depression because I choose not to be depressed about life. Depression just leads me to eating, to lethargy, to not getting off the couch. I even avoid Debbie Downer types because I choose not to live life in the doldrums.
But I've never been able to beat back the loneliness. The Beau (new blog name for my partner) makes friends easily. He's gregarious, happy, friendly, flirty - people flock to him. They have crushes on him. They don't see me. Literally. Ironic since I'm twice his size.
0 comments | Topics: The Beau, depression, friends, loneliness