Journey Updates
The Fourth Great Attempt: Week 4
February 6, 2010 @ 10:29 am
When I think about this week, I have competing thoughts. On the one hand, it was kind of a tough week in that I'm not really seeing the results I want to see in either my weight or even my behavior. On the other hand, I feel okay about the overall journey, in spite of its slow-going.Food
The week started off rough. I didn't drink nearly enough water and was most certainly dehydrated. That was combined with going to some friends' house for dinner. They served a pasta dish that was actually okay health-wise (white pasta, tomatoes, brussel sprouts), but I just ate too much of it, and too much bread, and of course my weakness for wine kicked in. By Monday morning I was up 2 pounds from Saturday. It took Monday and Tuesday to rehydrate, eat right, and drop those 2 pounds again.Wednesday and Thursday and to a lesser extent last night (Friday), I binged again. Way more than usual. I don't really understand it but before I know it I've eaten a bunch of carb-heavy food for no reason other than being bored. That's gotta stop and it's probably why I'm at a mini plateau here. This is the first week I've reintroduced Weight Watchers ice cream sandwiches as a treat ... but knowing they're in the freezer makes my brain think about them and last night I had TWO, because I could. My thought is that they are jacking up my blood sugar right at the end of the day, inspiring me to try to keep it up for some reason and triggering my mind to want more carbohydratey food. One sandwich bar as 28 grams of carbs and 11 grams of sugar - geeze! Not going to buy those again, they are clearly a problem for me.
I'm out of wine. I'm not going to buy more of that either, not for a while or unless we have guests. While a glass of wine is healthy and I do really enjoy it, I usually end up having two, not drinking water at night, and the alcohol screws with leptin and makes it easier to overeat. So I'm going to back off the bottle for a while.
Exercise
I have been going to the gym ever day for over a week. It feels good, I'm changing things up to keep it interesting, and best of all my heart is getting stronger. I have seen a definite drop in my heart rate while exercising. The calories burned is staying roughly the same, and I'm most assuredly keeping my intensity up and pressing harder and harder with greater resistances. But my maximum heart rate has barely crested 180 for about a week, and I've seen much longer times inside the "Zone" for weight loss + cardiovascular training. (In the past, I would routinely crest at a max rate of over 190 - even up to 199).This is significant for me - in past chapters of this journey I've suspected my heart was getting stronger but I couldn't confirm it over several workouts and several machines (each one is different). Now I can definitely see the trend. Which means something is taking root in this journey, even if I'm not seeing the pound-over-pound weight loss I'd like to. I went for a week+ without strength training, focusing mainly on cardio and eating right. That's all well and good but the fact is I need muscle to burn more calories in the off times; so I'm going to start focusing on strength training more. I did it this week and used a slow-go approach MizFit described on her blog. 10 seconds up, 10 seconds down. It's a different kind of work out - I think I like it.
Results
My weight isn't dropping. I'm at a weird plateau of about 270 and change. I don't like it but there are other things to consider as well. Generally I feel good. I can feel all these minute changes in my body, in my clothes. My belt is on the fourth hole - and it's not cutting into me. That's new. I think my underwear is looser - it rides up a little more easily while working out (I'm sure you want to know that, but hey, it's a change). My heart rate is dropping. I'm taking my supplements every day and after several weeks of ratcheting up the omega 3 I haven't had as many headaches as I was having four weeks ago.So maybe my weight isn't moving. That will probably change if I can get this high-sugar-binging-at-night thing taken care of. But something I want to start focusing on in my mind and will try to work into some meditation, is that I need to accept the positive aspects of this journey I am seeing. I'm eating better, cooking my meals, resisting processed foot, not eating out. I'm taking supplements and feeling better. I'm going to the gym every day. My heart. My belt. Et cetera. I need to learn to be more satisfied with the whole journey and not just my weight. A part of that is probably accepting myself at this weight ... something I've never been able to fathom.
Onwards we go.
2 Comments
Yum Yucky — Feb 6, 2010 @ 12:22 pm
I struggle with water too and it's the easiest things. Ugh.
Don't let that scale get you down! the way your clothes fit (looser) speaks volume, despite the scale's report.
Losing Weight Daily's Blogger — Feb 6, 2010 @ 02:38 pm
Hi YumYucky! Yeah water's key. I keep a six-liter jar next to my desk and pretty much drink all day if I'm being good about it. But like everything, good days and bad days. Thanks for the note!